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 Self-portrait March 27, 2013

She warned me. It came on suddenly. My body, my spirit, paralyzed by a darkness, an evil I have struggled with before. It could be defined as, the absent of self. My eyes have never been heavier, and that voice just keeps telling me, to drift a sleep.

 

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3 thoughts on “

  1. It’s obvious that beauty flows through your veins like water through panchamama, but to be true to your artistic inclinations, never be afraid of ugly. You do it so well and ugly is the most compelling.

    • ahhhh thank you! I was feeling very dark and lonely that day. These pictures capture me as my truest self. The props were still up from the wedding shoot I did, I just put a deep-conditioner in my hair that made it white, and the bags underneath my eyes would not go away no matter how much sleep I had. It was so gloomy and all I wanted to do was get out of this funk I had been living in… the sun didn’t want to come out that day, but gloomy weather is perfect for dark colors and energies.

    • These ugly, ugly demons once frighten me, but I won that battle awhile ago. I am not afraid of darkness, but as an artist I cannot thrive in that chaos. My mind searches for meaning and it comes up blank. As an artist I live for meaning behind everything, everyone. I try to live my life as an artist composes their composition.. Balanced! Maybe my work right now is teeming with life, because I am trying to balance out the other ugly things that are happening right now. Living in this alternative universe by dressing up as a different character everyday, seems to be my only light source I have right now. I only like to show darkness to others in person, so I can see their reaction and explain my reasoning Like my blog name EVERYBODY DIES…. Blah Blah some of my reasonings come from Buddhist teachings but most are the readings I get through my interactions with people… now I am going off on a tangent.

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